Randy--Thanks for being willing to answer a few questions here. I am working part time at Southeastern Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, doing some part time teaching, counseling and supervision of therapists and those in the ministry field. In short, the seminary is invested in bridging both clinical and biblical counseling worlds to integrate more external clinical training for those in ministry. 

We are going to be discussing the topic of "grief" next week with various groups of students, both graduate and doctoral level. I am interested in a number of things for these students to consider....Grief post COVID-19 and church response and personal impact of grief of those in the ministry field and how they have dealt with grief. 

As you know people often associate grief with death initially. But as you know, grief takes on many forms. People grieve the loss of something they had previously and not just in physical form---these things we often see in the clinical realm (divorce, infertility, job loss, retirement, moving, financial security, illness/health issue, etc). Your responses are confidential and will not be shared with others. I will be synthesizing information collected from those in the various ministry fields.

-As we are thinking about grief, and people's experiences of grief, I think a common theme is that it seems to pop up alongside other struggles and is often unexpected. What are some of the most common struggles that grief seems to coincide with? Why do you think that's the case? In what case have you experienced grief in your own life and in ministry?

First and foremost, the intensity of grief and its frequency is a function of the survivors dependency on the one that is gone. So, grief is more often an expression of what the living person still needs from the deceased but cannot obtain. This may be emotional, financial or other types of dependencies. -Cultural expressions of grief will be discussed. How do cultural influences play a role in how we experience and express grief? How have you seen that to be so, and have you seen maybe some negative influences of culture over expressions and feelings of grief? Culture is tied to religious faith. Depending on the perspective of the culture toward death, the reaction to it will vary. A culture that sees death as final with no prospects of reunion will take death much more seriously, seeing it as catastrophic. Whereas a culture, e.g. Chrisianity, which sees death as separation but not final, will not experience death as catastrophic.

Acceptance or rejection of emotional expressions have an impact on how the individuals in the culture are able to cope with death. The soul is a composite of a person's mind, will and emotions. When a person gives their will over to their emotions they lose some level of strength in their will. This is not a good thing as emotions get us no where in life, whereas, will is paramount for success.

-In your own counseling practices with church members and in ministry, have you seen any differences and how people experience and express grief post-COVID? Positive experiences? Negative? I have not noticed any differences. However, the more often death occurs, the less impact a single death has on the population. -Overall, in ministry, how is your church handling grief within your church family post COVID? We handle grief by not allowing it to take control. Again, grief is an emotion and emotions get us no where. Since we teach the resurrection, we understand the temporal nature of physical life quite well and so place our hope in the resurrected state that is our eternal future. -Each of us will experience grief at some point in our lives. How have you managed to balance out your own personal experiences from those that you walk through with others? How do you guard yourself from taking on the grief of those you counsel and minister to? Understanding death is critical to being able to deal with it. Death is a part of life (physical). But God is the God of the living and not the dead. Therefore, in Christ, we see every person who departs this physical life in relationship to Christ Jesus as being raised in future to perfect, eternal state. When I counsel someone else about grief, it strengthens my handling of my own grief. -What do you feel has been the hardest or most challenging part of your grief journey as a human being, a Christian, someone in ministry? It is inevitable that one looks back on what might have been done or said, but such time spent is wasted as those opportunities are gone. -Lastly, if you only got one session with someone who is grieving deeply, what sorts of counsel, advice, or resources would you give them? We know one session would be insufficient, but what are some of your go-to's there? Christ Jesus is our salvation in every sense. He has borne our griefs and He is aquainted with our sorrows. He loves us and wants us to thrive. To thrive we must turn lose of that which is dead and reach for the living. In pouring ourselves into the living, He succours us of our pain. The key to receiving help is to give help. Thanks for taking the time to respond to these! Hope to see you soon! HUGS!