Our Choices have consequences.   

If bad things happen as a result of our decisions we are not victims.   We are perpetrators.   

If a person does not take responsibility for their own bad decisions they are incapable of being saved.   

How so?   

Because Salvation is dependent on a person recognizing their sinfulness and then making a decision to repent (change their mind and attitude) and to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ.   

A victim refuses to accept responsibility for their sins and so they see no need to repent and hence they see no need for a Saviour.   

Stop coddling and start telling those in your circle that they must repent in order to be Born Again and to enter the kingdom of God.